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Archive for August, 2010

I’m not one of those Moms that counts the days until school starts again. I love summer. I love everything about it. I love beach days and sandy toes. I love summer corn and tomatoes and the relegation of Husband to the grill at nearly every dinnertime. I love slathering my children in sunblock and watching the gradual progression of their skin to a golden brown and their hair a golden blonde. I love flip-flops and pedicures people can actually see. Despite my unmatched modesty when it comes to my body, I love short sleeves (aside: hate when people say they’re in “shirt sleeves”) and cute summer skirts and colorful beach cover-ups.  I love open windows and ceiling fans and blooming hydrangea.  I don’t even complain (much) when it’s 90 degrees and humid and there’s sweat dripping down my back.  Because once summer’s gone, there’s fall.  And fall is a perfectly wonderful time of year (especially in New England) except for people like me.  Because I manage to ruin fall by spending most of it dreading the fact that winter (g-damn winter) is next.  And winter sucks.

Yesterday, Husband and I packed up the boys bright and early and headed north to Crane Beach in Ipswich.

Despite the fact that we live in a town littered with beaches, it seemed a fitting trip to round out our summer.   We arrived by 9 am (1/2 hour past low tide) and were awed by the expanse of Crane Beach (I hadn’t been since high school).   There were tide pools and piping plovers and no more  than 100 others on the beach (although it was mobbed by the time we left).  Husband, who can’t sit still on the beach for more than 5 minutes at a time, dropped the gear and then took off with the kids to explore and build and romp and splash and left me alone.  With my beach chair.  And my Kindle.  And my happy, happy self.

Ah.  Summer.

On the way home we stopped at a local farm stand where I picked up some fresh basil (the best), mozzarella and heirloom tomatoes so ripe and red that I wanted to bite into them on the spot.   I dug through piles of local corn for three perfect ears and snagged two crisp apples for the boys in hopes that munching and crunching would stave off the sleep that tugged at their sandy, sun-soaked selves.

Summer.

Next week, school begins.  Big Brother heads off to Kindergarten, which is simply not possible.  Little Brother will go to pre-school three mornings a week leaving Mom alone to…to what?

Miss them.

Fill out countless back-to-school forms.

Hit the treadmill.

Consider my next move.

Wish it was summer all over again.

———-

p.s.  I’m running in a 5K in two weeks.  Which is sort of laughable but whatever.  I’m doing it.   I have every confidence that I’ll finish.  I’m just hoping that when the standings come out in our local papers that my name doesn’t show up dead last.  Which is entirely possible in this land of skinny-mini’s…and me.   Wish me luck.  I will, no doubt, need it.

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Beaks and Balloons

I get nauseous just thinking about a ride in this glass-bottom hot air balloon.

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Ducky dog masks make it all better, though.

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Happy Weekend, Everyone.

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A couple of days ago I read something that said “Try as hard as possible not to lose it with your kids. You’re all they have in the world.”

And, it really shook me. I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m all they have in the world.

Jesus.

Because sometimes I hear this crazy woman yelling (like, full on YELLING) at her children for something so ridiculous. And, she’s me. But, it’s been 900 times that I’ve calmly mentioned the ridiculous little thing.  Please stop doing that.   Stop doing that.  I mean it, stop doing that now.

And, so the 901st time? I lose it a little.  More than a little.  And I yell.   And, I’m a pretty good yeller.

I’m all they have in the world.

Will they hear that banshee shriek over and over in their little brains, seemingly on replay like a mistreated DVD?   Will they remember that yell and think that their mother (for even that one instant), might not have loved them with every fiber of her being? That I wouldn’t lie down in traffic for them?  That they aren’t simply everything (everything.) to me?

Or, will they remember the snuggly Mom? The “tuck me into bed” Mom?  The one who can’t resist pulling them to me for a kiss and a hug as they stroll past me in the kitchen? Do they replay that Mom in their heads? The smiling, adoring me?

Or, the other one.

Lord, I hope it’s the “good” me. They deserve that me.

*sigh*

Parenting is so freakin’ hard.

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I love this so much (and my kids love it more) that I thought it worthy of a blog of its own.

Enjoy.

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Sticky Note Tuesday

I liked this idea, courtesy of SupahMommy.

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Ahhh…home.

We finally found our way home yesterday after a wonderful vacation to Corolla, NC in the Outer Banks.   This was our fourth annual trip with my mother in law and brother-in-law (who I am lucky enough to love) and I think they get better every time (the trips, I mean, not the in-laws).

Anyway.

We had nearly perfect weather including one cloudy day in the middle of the week, which fell at the ideal time for all of us as it forced us out of the sun and into the local shops, onto the go-karts and mini-golf course, out to lunch and onto the docks of the Currituck Sound for some blue-crabbing (a favorite annual activity).

So, you might remember that we made the decision (read:  HUSBAND made the decision and I complained about and dreaded it for months) to wake up in CT at 3:00 am and drive the 9+ hours to North Carolina rather than fly this year.  I mean, I really dreaded it.  I dreaded it like I dread a dentist appointment or a pap smear.  Maybe more than I dread either.  Maybe more than I would dread both.  At the same time.

Last night, Husband asked me if I had a blog all cooked up about the trip and I said (truthfully) that I really didn’t.  My photos are already posted on FB, my brain is mush and I wasn’t feeling particularly creative.  His response was that today would probably be an appropriate time to confess to the cyber world that I was wrong and he was right.  Because I had absolutely no faith that the children in the car (including two that are always children and four that only sometimes act like they are) would behave themselves.  I would have bet my TiVo on the fact that there would be much crying, complaining and carrying on.   9+ hours of crying, complaining and carrying on.  Good times, good times.

Ready?  Here it is.

I was wrong.

The children (all six of us) were very well-behaved.  Sleeping much of the trip, playing games (I packed a large bag of surprises), singing and snacking.  It was all a very, very pleasant surprise for me.  Husband was a patient, non-aggressive, accommodating driver.  Mother-in-law was her usual helpful, generous, sweet self — propping pillows for Little Brother, distributing snacks and frequently rescuing wayward toys dropped from his reach in the car seat.  Brother in law (stuck in the way back with Big Brother) was quietly snoozing when not plugged-in with movies on his iPhone — deftly handling a very chit-chatty (“Can I play with your phone?…Can I play with your phone?…Can I play with your phone?”) Big Brother for nearly 20 total car hours all in.  I was a proud Mommy.   We will certainly save the $$ and drive again next year.  And probably forever after that.

It’s such a great vacation spot.  Unspoiled but accessible.  I highly recommend it to anyone interested in straying from the usual Massachusetts go-to spots like Cape Cod, Nantucket or Democratic Presidents Vacationland otherwise known as MV.   Check out http://www.twiddy.com for rental houses.   (And no, sadly, they aren’t giving me a deal for recommending them.)

Only 356 days until we head back.  I can’t wait.

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I Hate Balloons.

Yup.  Balloons.  Nylon strips of Hell.  Effing balloons.

Because you know what balloons mean in my household?  Take your pick.

1.   Fighting.  If one boy has a balloon (like from a birthday party), then the other boy wants it.   If they both have balloons, they fight about whose is bigger, whose is longer, whose is stronger (ignore the obvious male joke here, please).

2.  Crying.   Inevitably.   Either because the helium balloon flew away or the non-helium one popped or it went up to the skylight or it isn’t red.  Whatever.  Let’s cry about it.

3.  Death.   I swear, my kids will be 37 and 40 and I’ll still be convinced they’re going to choke on a balloon.  Little Brother recently decided it was a great idea to try to pop balloons with his teeth.  Awesome.

Both boys went to a birthday party yesterday, met a real jedi knight and received, to their delight, giant balloon light sabers.  They were psyched, to say the least.

Four total balloon pieces (including the attached saber handles).  In the shape of swords.

Sweet.

So, because Mom is a total Scrooge and finally put the kibosh on bashing each other (and the furniture) over and over and over (and over) again, they decided the next fun task was going to be to spend the rest of the morning popping the balloons together.

Choking hazards!  Yipppeee!

Oh, and then they moved on a giant punch ball balloon they found in the playroom.

Finally.   Victory is ours.

Is it cocktail time yet?

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Husband and I took the Lazy Labrador and the boys for a walk yesterday.  There’s a terrific path that runs for miles from our town into Salem and maybe even beyond.  (I’ve never actually walked far enough to find out for sure.) From the entry area off our road, we can elect to go left along a path that includes a duck pond, a playground and an off-road woods trail.  Or, we can go right along a path that leads to the small harbor area where Marblehead meets Salem.   It’s great because (although letting your dog run free is technically not allowed due to leash laws – meh), it’s a phenomenal off-leash spot.  As long as your dog stays in earshot enough to keep him out-of-the-way of on-coming bikers and you’re diligent about leashing him up when you approach leash-law abiding citizens, it rocks.  Lazy Labrador hits the path for an hour or so then sleeps for the rest of the afternoon.  And, most of the next day.  And the path is surrounded by tallish brush and plantings on both sides which means as long as your mutt doesn’t poop in the path, it’s also a no poop-scoop zone.  Another bonus.   Lazy arrives on the path and, smelling millions of other dogs, pees like a madman on everything he can lift a leg at.   He loves it.

So…nearly at our turn-around point yesterday, we encounter a nice young man and his dog, Dakota.  Dakota looks like a white German Shepherd.  (I’ll bet some of you know what that breed is, don’t you?).  Anyway, it’s irrelevant.

The dog is not interesting for its breed but rather for the fact that he’s clearly paralyzed in his hind legs.  He has a half of a bicycle set up in back with two wheels and a harness supporting his end.  His front paws propelled him neatly forward.

Lazy Labrador greeted them with his usual a**hole barking and yanking on his leash to get at the other dog.  Truth is, if translated, his idiot barking would likely mean:

I’m barking a lot ’cause I’m trying to sound really loud and tough because my family is with me!  But, I’m actually a complete and total pansy who sleeps all day so please don’t choose to eat me for dinner.  Please?  Woof.

The Shepherd barely batted an eye at our foolish hound.   And, neither did his owner who totally ruined Lazy Labrador’s street cred by looking at Husband and casually asking “Is he friendly?” (as our dog nearly coughed a lung pulling at his leash and baring his teeth).  Umm.  Yeah.  He is.   Shut up, you big dopey dog.

And, with that, Lazy Labrador settled down and the two dogs were friends.  Or at least, intimate acquaintances as they madly sniffed away at each other’s privates. Ick.   Dogs are so gross.

Anyway, I watched and wondered what the boys would think about the dog on wheels.  Would they wonder how it worked?  Would they, as they gently pet his soft doggie head, wonder what was wrong with sweet Dakota?  Would their childish curiosity in the moment lead to a difficult conversation about physical disabilities when we arrived back home?

We grown-ups exchanged a few words.  The kids remained quiet.  It was time to move along.

Then Big Brother decided he something to say.

Umm.  Excuse me, but can I tell you something?

I held my breath.

Yes?, the nice man replied.

Well, my dog?  Back there on the path?   Well, he…

After taking a deep breath, Big Brother continues.

Back there on the path? Well.  My dog pissed all over my father’s foot.

Yup.

That’s our boy.

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Good or Bad?

The Teeny Tiny Octopus.

Good?  Or Bad?

I say, Good.  Adorable, in fact.

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The New Doughnut Burger.

Good?  Or Bad?

Probably Good.  But Very, Very Bad.

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Clever, Deceitful Seat Savers?

Good?  Or Bad?

I Like It.

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Lastly, my post on gay marriage raised quite a little stir.  And the comments confirmed my original feeling that I am horrible when trying to deal with raw conflict (hence my complete inability to discuss politics with anyone who takes either side in an extreme way).  Horrible.  I am not a fence sitter with my own values but I have a big, white picket up my butt when it comes to making sure everyone is playing nice with everyone else.

So, in the spirit of fence-sitting.

Here’s a, shall we say, more passionate image.

And, here’s one that’s more my safe, fence-sitter style.

And that, fair readers, may well be the last time I dare to go political.

You can now look forward to more teeny, tiny octopi (yay!  I got to use the word octopi!) and potty-training stories in future posts.

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Just Wondering

If I’ve decided to, in the interest of health and weight loss, only drink wine on the weekends…

Can I drink it on Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night?

Sort of seems that would be cheating.   But, also, seems perfectly logical.

No?

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