Posts Tagged ‘love’

My husband and I met when we worked together at an advertising agency in Boston.  The agency, probably as with most other agencies in the 90s, was chock full of young people enjoying the perks of working in, what was perceived to be, one of the city’s most glamorous professions.   Advertising and PR were profiting greatly off the booming budgets that came out of 90’s consumerism.   We enjoyed weekly staff meetings that included giveaways, themes, snacks and alcoholic beverages.  We enjoyed many a night out on the town with our coworkers — including our bosses — and laughed about late-night escapades over coffee in the conference room the next morning.  Life was good.  And THEN I fell in love.  And it got even better.

We snuck around.   For some reason, we were very concerned with not letting word of our relationship hit the rumor mill.  We confided in two friends (one, his roommate) and then enjoyed the game of it all.  The game of sending an email that said “Leaving in ten.  Meet me around the corner at the Cactus Club before the movie” so no one would see us departing together. The game of, after an overnight visit (gasp!  sorry, mom), one of us hopping off the T a stop before the other so we could saunter into work separately.   The game of standing next to each other in a bar during one of our company outings — acting like friends but knowing we were more than that.

Eventually, he took another job and we let our secret (nearly 3 months hidden) out.  Two years later we decided to live together.  Three years later we married.   And then these crazy boys came along.  Meant to be.

My husband.

My partner.

My lover.

My confidante.

My best friend.

My twelfth cousin six times-removed?

Um.   Maybe.

My husband’s middle name is Ross.  Before we married, my middle name was Ross (I dropped it).  My husband’s mother’s middle name was Ross.  My father’s middle name is Ross.  My husband’s grandfather’s middle name was Ross.  My grandfather’s middle name was Ross.   My cousin Emily?  Ross.  And so on, and so on.   On both sides.  Ummm….yeah.

Our wedding invitation read as follows:

Mr. & Mrs. Jeffrey Ross H.

cordially invite you to the marriage of their daughter

Miss Swooper Ross


Husband Ross S.

in Vermont

Seriously.  A stranger picking up that invitation would have certainly judged us as deep back woods Vermonters short on teeth and shorter on morality.  Kissing cousins in the truest sense of the words.

My Aunt Betsy did a truly amazing job recently of tracing my family tree back more than fourteen generations — all the way to my Great (10 times) Grandfather William Bradford who came over on The Mayflower.   My fingers are tightly crossed that no one on my husband’s side of the family is as industrious as Betsy.   Lord knows what familial connection we might find.

I choose to believe that the whole Ross thing just means we’re meant to be together.

And, I mean, our kids have all their limbs and no weird blood disorders.   So, that’s a plus.

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There’s a magical book out there called Bear of My Heart, by Joanne Ryder.   I’ve read it to Big Brother since he was a very little boy and we like to think of it as our own special story.  I read it to him with tears welling up in my eyes and take deep breaths to absorb the sobs that creep from the back of my throat.   It’s beautiful and I hereby recommend it to any of you out there with small cubs in the house.

However, reading it today – on my Husband’s birthday – I’m struck by how easily it translates to a story about marriage.  True love.  Partnership.

“Paw in paw, we will greet every morning,

Paw in paw, we will meet every day

For you are the bear of my heart, dear

And nothing can take that away.”

Paw in paw.  Hand in hand.   I’m so grateful for all that he’s given to me (to us) in the giving of his hand.

In marriage

A first dance

In Romance

In Unabashed Fatherly Love

With a Generous Heart

With a Steadying Touch

Offering Little Life Lessons

And reassurance that the next step, however unfamiliar, is safe.  Because he’s there.  He’s with us.

“There are so many bears in the world dear,

but there’s no other one that will do.

You are the bear of my heart, dear,

and I am the one who loves you.”

Happy Birthday, to my Husband.    Thank you for (more than seven years ago) asking for my hand.  And for, since then, holding us all so tightly in yours.

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