Posts Tagged ‘boys’

Dear Mr. Spider,

Try to look at the bright side.  Yeah, so you stumbled into my kitchen and plopped yourself down on my toddler’s sippy cup (gross).  He spotted you.   He announced you.

Oh!  Oh! (pointing) Spider, Mommy!  Right dare!

Just a few short months ago, Mr. Spider, that would have been the end of you.  I would have grabbed a tissue and swooped you up and that would have been that.  The bright side is that…well, that didn’t happen.  The not-so-bright side is that you landed in a home of two young boys.  Two young boys armed with this:

We call it “the bug sucker.”  And, unfortunately for you, you caught us at an extremely rare moment in which the bug sucker actually had a full charge of batteries and, even more amazingly, they knew where to find it.    Uh oh.

Commence sucking and swooooooooosh.  In you go.

Where you are now at the mercy of two very curious children who will inspect you using the fancy magnifying feature of said Bug Sucker.   Like this…

Is that what spider terror looks like up close?  Probably.  But, don’t worry too much, Mr. Spider.  Your time in the Bug Sucker will be somewhat short-lived.  Before you are banished to your new, luxurious home.

This jar.

Hello, Mr. Spider.   It’s now 9:10 am, the boys are at school and you and I are home alone (well, the Lazy Labrador is here, too, but he’s not much company).   You’re, unfortunately, stuck in there with your air holes until roughly 1 pm when the boys will come home to free you.

Hopefully, you can just write it off as a very bad morning.   Like, I said, at least you’re not dead, Mr. Spider.   Right?

So, until 1 pm,



Hey Moms and Dads – Here’s the Bug Sucker online, if you’re interested.  We learned the other day that it’s also a very handy tool for picking up empty plastic Easter Eggs strewn across the living room.

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Late last week, I decided to take my boys to “Open Gym” at our local YMCA.  We’ve done this a few times before and it always took place in the Y’s Main Gymnasium.  The room is loaded with stuff — trampoline tracks that lead to a big pit of foam blocks, balance beams, giant foam building blocks, a rope swing and the entire floor is covered by mats.  Plenty of easy entertainment for a couple of boys.  I can let them run wild together and know they’re safe while I play on my iPhone watch them lovingly.

But, the other day, we excitedly arrived at the gym and found it was full of (gasp!) gymnasts!  Twirling, swirling, leaping little girls in leotards.  Hmmm…did I have the time wrong?   Turns out that Open Gym that day was to be held in another gym.  One room down.  A real, shiny wooden floor, bleachers, basketball hoop and soccer goals type of gym.   The Y had made a small attempt at improving this new version of “Open Gym” by throwing in a few foam building blocks, one balance beam and a few random balls.

I looked at my guys.

“What do you think?  Is this kind of lame?  You wanna just go home?”

Because to me, it looked awful.  No real entertainment. Nothing new or different than what you’d usually find in, well, a gym.

Big Brother looked at Little Brother.  “You want to play Freeze Tag!?


And off they went.  Racing around, chasing and laughing and throwing balls around and just completely, gleefully entertained for nearly forty-five minutes before they collapsed down next to me ready to go home for a snack and a nap.

Apparently anything that can be done at maximum speed suits them just fine.  Lesson learned.

Big Brother in foreground (like I said…fast).
Little Brother in background.

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There are certainly times, like last week, when I can do a lot of complaining and feel fully justified in doing so.  And then there are days like today.  Sunny, mid 50s and spring is in the air in this beautiful New England seaside town.  So, I spent the morning at the beach with my little family (even the dog).   Searching for Periwinkles.  Splashing along the shore line.  Hearing them call out in high-pitched voices as they discover something new.  Breathing in the ocean air and thinking…wow.  Thank you…

For curiosity
For carefree splashing
For tiny hands…and frog boots
For this foolish but good-hearted dog
For the way he loves them.   The way he loves us.

For all of it.  Thank you.

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We’re done having kids.  Officially.  We made the decision to call it quits after our second and, as I was having a scheduled c-section, the logistics around closing up shop were simple.  My family is complete.

Two boys.  Three years apart.  And, at ages 5 and 2, they are becoming closer friends every day.  They worship Dad but need Mommy.  They snuggle and love and climb up onto my lap and they give me everything I have ever needed and allow me now to sit back with a contented sigh and say, “Yup.  This is it.  All I need.”
And, really, I have not for one honest moment, had a second thought about the decision not to expand the clan further.  I mean, sure, I love the feeling of a sleeping baby on my chest, the smell of their hair, the sound of their gentle breath.  But, most of time I remember that I’m terrified that their gel-like necks will break, that they’ll wake up and wail or that colic will force me to the local pharmacy for Xanax.  I adore children but babies, more or less, terrify me.  And, frankly, Ross and I are finally getting real sleep again (until 8 am on Saturday!).  We have trusted sitters and can go out to dinner without worry.   I can take a shower when both kids are awake and know that they won’t choke on a marble while I’m gone.  We’re about six months from never changing a diaper again.  We’re in the groove.  Start over?   No, thank you.
But, we went on vacation last week with some friends.  They also had two kids.  A little boy who was all boy.   Like, banging into walls, rough and tumble, crazy, funny little man.   A boy.  
But.   They also had Alex.  And, Alex is “little girl” without being excessively girly.  She’s sweet but not wimpy.   She was chatty but not precocious.  She was 3 1/2 but kept right up with my 5 year old.  She took a liking to Ross, which melted my heart over and over again — snuggling up to him on the couch, dog-paddling him down in the pool, giggling at his attention.  I don’t know how many times I picked up teeny, tiny little princess doll shoes and scooped them into a small pile and I loved it every time.  A little girl.  Cutie pie.  Her parents have done a nice job with her.  And, I was, admittedly, a little jealous.   
I bought her a little pink princess bracelet at Disney and could have gotten her about a million other little things throughout the trip.  Because there are so many cute girl things out there in little person land.  And basically nothing for boys if you aren’t desperately seeking some ridiculous sailor suit or a black t-shirt with hideously gaudy designs.
Still, I’m reminded of one of my very favorite lines about having boys versus girls.  It came to me from a male friend in Vermont who has only daughters.  A father of two boys once said to him:
“You know what, man?  I have to worry about two penises.  But, YOU have to worry about the rest of them.”
I wouldn’t change my mind, of course.  I love my boys madly and they (in the cheezy words of Jerry Maguire) complete me.   They have completed our little family.  But, last week, for just a few moments…
A girl.  

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When you go to Disney World without kids, as Ross and I did before we were married, all you notice are the people with strollers.  They’re everywhere.   Ev-er-y-where.  Without a stroller, you are the outsider.  And, while we still more or less enjoyed ourselves at the time, we sort of felt (not sadly) that we didn’t really belong at Disney World.  In hindsight, we had no idea how lucky we were.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It’s delightful to hear your children squeal and point when they first see Mickey.  It’s beautiful to watch their eyes turn teacup as they glide through the magical “It’s a Small World.”  Blah, blah, blah, blah.


See, I’m a roller coaster person.   And, in the land of the world’s coolest roller coasters, know how many I went on last week?

Zip.  None.  Nada.      


When you’re there with your two year old and your five year old, there’s no Space Mountain, there’s no Big Thunder Mountain and there’s no Splash Mountain.  At Sea World there will be no Manta and at Animal Kingdom there will be no Everest.   Harumph.   I’m already looking forward to when we go back in four or five years and my boys will be so psyched that their Mom wants to go on these rides.  Over and over, please.

Ross and his buddy, Bill, made it onto one cool ride, though.  Bill’s wife, Katie, and I encouraged them to hit a water-ride roller coaster type thing while we watched the kids.  The line looked shortish and there was a good spot where we knew we’d capture their faces with our cameras as they came down the steepest incline towards the water.  Kids at heart, they took us up on the opportunity.

Here’s the shot:

The guys are in the back.  Ross is on the left here with his arm in the air.  
They came off the ride wet and laughing like children.  It was great.   
“So,” we asked, “was it cool?”
“Oh, yeah!  We were laughing so hard.  Did you see our fellow passengers?” Snorting laughs to each other.
“Yeah, I mean, I guess so.  Kids, right?”
“Yeah…”     More snickering together.

It wasn’t until we were home and looking at the days photos that we took a closer look at all the shots from the water ride and really looked at the rest of the people in the boat.  And then, for some reason, we were all snickering.  Then, those deep belly laughs.  Then tears and hold your stomach doubling over laughs.  All four of us.  I don’t exactly know why it was so darn funny when we saw the actual kids.  The fellow passengers.  Their faces.  Ross and Billy sitting there behind them.  I don’t know.  But, damn, we laughed.
You be the judge.  

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