I know this might make us sound like kind of bad parents but we’ve learned that Big Brother is highly motivated by money. He loves it. Offer him a penny and he’ll fetch you a cold beverage. Offer him a nickel and he’ll sing a song…loudly, in public. Offer him a quarter and, as witnessed this weekend, he’ll wade out in bone-chillingly cold ocean water to retrieve Little Brother’s beloved rubber ball. And, if said quarter is a commemorative state quarter? Holy cow. Oh, I shudder to think of what he’d do.
Big Brother also has a list of daily chores for which he receives stickers. At the end of the week, his allowance is based on how many stickers he’s accumulated. And all this has been going on for quite a long time. He does his chores (or some random challenge) collects his booty, and then hustles to his room to squirrel it away in his piggy bank.
Piggy’s gotten too fat a few times over the years forcing us to cash in some coins for bills to make more room. We knew Big Brother had a decent collection going but had no idea, really, what the cumulative totals were. All we knew was that Big Brother loved Piggy. And all that Piggy represented. For example, when I’m asked for the nine millionth time to take them out to lunch (or buy the new Bakugan or go to the car wash even though it’s raining outside), and I respond by saying, “No. We aren’t made of money, you know?”, Big Brother remembers Piggy. He contemplates, pausing for a moment, and then says “It’s ok, Mommy. I’ll pay.”
So, you can imagine my surprise when he came to us and asked if he could open his own bank account. We had no idea that our weekly trip to the bank was anything more to Big Brother than an opportunity to score lollipops. He told us he wanted to save his money somewhere “super safe” and that he was really hopeful they might give him his very own “secret code” to get his money when he needed it.
Husband and I thought it was a great idea but weren’t so sure how to execute it with the gigantic corporate beast where we do our banking. So, the next morning I called our local branch to make an appointment. Unsure of the reaction I’d get (certainly, a five-year old and his piggy bank isn’t top on their list of clients), I was delighted when they walked me through how it would all work and made us an appointment.
Big Brother was thrilled. And, quickly got to work shaking out the piggy.
So, I gathered up the money for him, we grabbed his social security card and off we went. To do some banking.
Ready or not. Here we come.
We sat right down with our representative who welcomed Big Brother, had him tell her his birthday and spell his name. She asked him to provide his address and his signature. He took it all very seriously.
You won’t get anymore shots of Big Brother from inside the bank, though. See, turns out they have some crazy rules against taking pictures and had no qualms telling me to PUT THAT THING AWAY RIGHT NOW.
Sheesh. How paranoid can you be. Haha.
But, despite his crazy, camera-happy mother, they patiently got Big Brother all set up ($101!), gave him a little bank book with their sincere congratulations and sent a very proud little boy on his way.
So, thank you, to the staff of Giant Corporate Bank in Marblehead. Thank you for acting like a small, local bank even though I know you are, in fact, a humongous financial monster. Thank you for making last Friday a very special day for Big Brother. He checks his account balance daily and feels like a very big kid.
Oh, and thank you, in advance, for not sending the police to my door because I posted a photo taken from inside your bank on my blog. I photo-shopped the heck out of it to remove any possible issues. Swear.