Husband and I got a sitter on Saturday night and decided to go out for a pre-Mother’s Day dinner. So, after going through the regular exchange:
Me: Where should we go?
He: I don’t know. You pick.
How about x?
Nah. Too dark.
How about y?
Tables are too close together.
How about z?
Annoying bartenders.
How about you pick?
There’s a storied spot here in Marblehead. It’s both a bar and restaurant but it’s always been known for “wicked stiff drinks”. I hadn’t darkened the door of the place since my bachelorette party (Don’t remind me…is that tequila I taste?) when the food part of the building was really just considered a nice tack-on in case you actually wanted to have something in your stomach and, therefore, a better chance of actually leaving the bar standing upright. But, we’d been hearing a lot of reports lately that they had a new chef and the food was good. So, we decided to check it out and off we went.
We enjoyed some grown-up bar drinks (in pint glasses) at the bar downstairs, chatted with a great bartender, then headed up to the restaurant. Sat at a high-top table, liked the looks of the menu, liked our server, liked the atmosphere. Right up our alley, really.
And then…he arrived.
Jimmy. Or Mickey. Or Sully, perhaps. Something like that, undoubtedly.
Whoever he was, he was the quintessential loudmouth. Sitting with two other guys at the bar but his Boston-accent-laden side of the conversation was the only one anyone heard. And it sounded something like this:
Did you see that f*ckin’ pitch? (pause so someone else could speak…briefly) Oh, yeah, he got f*ckin’ crushed. (pause) No f*ckin’ way that was a f*ckin’ out! That guy needs f*ckin’ glasses. Blah, blah, blah, f*ckin’, blah, blah, blah, f*ckin’, blah.
Grrrr. It certainly didn’t ruin our meal but it was annoying and rude and I wish his knucklehead friends had just told him to pipe down. But, they didn’t. And on he went.
Husband often tells me I have “rabbit ears”. That I basically choose to listen to annoying things that others could simply tune out. For example, I can’t stop myself from listening intently to someone enjoying his gum a little too enthusiastically. Or someone tapping a pen on a desk. Or lightly snoring. Or eating something while on the phone with me (“hey, you want to just call me back when you’re finished?”).
Or dropping the F-bomb loudly and repeatedly at a restaurant. I mean, come on.
Yesterday, I was reading the blog of a woman whose posts I follow regularly. She had gone to dinner with her sister and her sister’s new baby and, after the baby had spent some time fussing, a man seated nearby felt compelled to make a comment to them. And, he wasn’t exactly delicate with his opinions of a crying baby in a restaurant. It escalated. I believe they finished their meal but the night was ruined for them. She was more than a little irritated with the man’s gumption.
But, I had to admit that I sort of sided with the grumpy man in the restaurant. I feel strongly that, when in a public place where a semblance of decorum is expected (like restaurants, retail stores, etc), it’s a parent’s responsibility to be aware and considerate of the people around them. And to not allow your child to disrupt someone else’s evening. Granted, some whining, some crying, some volume — all expected. Kids are kids. Kids are allowed at restaurants and allowed at retail stores. Certainly. Give ’em a chance. But, if it gets to the point where the child is overtaking the atmosphere of the restaurant…it’s time to go. Call it a night. Get ’em out of there. Run, Forrest, Run. Your server and your fellow patrons will thank you for it. I know I would.
I’m sure many will disagree. Like I said, just my opinion.
Anyway, this leads me back to that trash-mouth man in the restaurant Saturday night. Sure, it wasn’t like we were dining at Le Cirque. Of course, he had every right to be there enjoying himself with his buddies. And, frankly, he probably spends a lot more money and certainly a lot more time at that establishment that I do. It’s probably a heck of a lot more “his place” than mine. But you know what I wish?
I wish his mother was there. I wish she was there to hear his language. That she was there to shush him politely a few times. Then, to speak a little more sternly, maybe even firmly grabbing his forearm. Then, that she was there to look him square in the eyes and say “Stop it now. I mean it.”
And then, when he went on and on and on…?
I wish she’d been there to receive my high-five as she dragged him out by his ear.
It’s OK if I chew my lunch while I am reading this right?
I do not like little knit picky noises either. The dog licking her paw will send me up a wall.
Sorry Sully was loud. Next time your option is to drink a few more of those pints or throw one in his face!!
Am loving your blogs, C. I think you should have gone up to “Sullly” and dragged him out by the ear OR found an atractive gal, point her out to him and say “she was going to come and buy you a beer until she heard your potty mouth!” That might have shut him up!
Good news about the engaged man, hu?
Hi Sally! So so nice to hear that you are reading and enjoying the blog. Really makes me smile.
And, yes, way to go T for finally making an honest woman of the tenant. But, on Mother’s Day? What a thunder stealer! I told Sue I’d scold him in a Haiku if she wanted me to.
Hope all is well with you!
I agree. Overbearing people in restaurants are not welcome. Crying babies in nicer restaurants are not welcome. In a family/casual restaurant, it’s ok. I didn’t take my kids out when they were babies/toddlers (heck, I still don’t) to nicer restaurants b/c it ruins others’ dining experience AND why would I want to pay for a nice meal that I can’t eat nor enjoy.
The noise that sends me up the wall is BSD slurping his coffee. It makes my skin crawl.
I’m with you on your desire to see that “big man on campus” face up to Mom. I wrote a post about just that and have an idea for a great new reality game show :http://blogs.babycenter.com/momformation/2010/02/06/beyond-mom-if-moms-ruled-the-world/
What do you think? Should we pitch it to the networks?
I could NOT agree more with this entire post. Last night I went out to a decent restaurant and was sat next to a small group of Ma$$holes who could not keep their voices down for anything. Even my soft-spoken mother referred to the women in the group as “Loud-mouthed Broads.” And let’s just say that they had their fill of alcohol too. It wasn’t that it was a “fancy” place but we were paying $20-$25 per person for good seafood and had to scream at each other in order to have a conversation. Waitress came over to ask about dessert but we just couldn’t stay another minute. It wasn’t the restaurant’s fault really but I’m not sure when I’ll go back.
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