One of the little benefits of having children is that they can eventually start to do things that you don’t really want to do anymore. When I was growing up in Vermont, I proved to be a very handy lawnmower, wood stacker and dog food pourer. So now, my time has come. Big Brother is finally at an age when he’s actually starting to be useful. And, while he’s still too young to mow our lawn or stack wood, you can bet he feeds that dog. And he loves fetching things around the house for me — a diaper for Little Brother, a pair of shoes, Dad’s dry cleaning bag and other such tasks. I’d say, though, that I have found him to be most useful in the area of reminders. As my Mommy brain goes a little more J-e-l-l-o each day, his five-year old brain is sharpening. So, we often leave the house with a recited list of errands. Or enter the grocery store with a little chant of critical items. And, it’s very, very helpful. He’s saved me from near disaster many times. “Mom! You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning!” or “Mom! Did you forget the taco sauce?”
A couple nights ago, the boys and I enjoyed a sunny late afternoon playdate with my wonderful college friend J. and her three kids. We met at her house, ran the kids around outside and then, as the sun started going down, we all headed back into town for dinner at a local pizza place and ice cream across the street. For the most part, the kids were stellar. All five of them well-behaved at the restaurant — eating their dinners, sitting in their chairs, having fun but not to the detriment of other diners. We were hard to miss with our piles of children but, thankfully, (luckily) we were also the picture of two functional Mommies enjoying a meal with our kids. Until…
Packing up to leave, throwing away various paper plates, stacking trays and returning the ketchup to the counter. Big Brother shouts to me from across the restaurant.
Oh! Mommy!
Shhhh. What?
Mommy! Racing across the restaurant now, undoubtedly attracting attention of many diners. Jumping up and down in front of me now.
Mommy! VODKA! VODKA! We need VODKA!
(Oh. my. goodness.)
Confessions of a Serial Swooper 
LMAO…at your son and the cartoon!
When we were kidless and contemplating taking the leap, BSD would turn to me as he was doing odd chores he hated and say, “Yes, let’s have kids. I want to have kids so they can vacuum.”
Yep, we had a deep and profound need to procreate.
Good boy!!!! Hmmm now I know why Mr 4 Year Old always want to go play at YOUR house!!!
My sister has an awesome anecdote about her (now 17 year old) son’s preschool teacher.
It went something like:
“I’ll believe exactly 1/ 2 of what your kids say happens at home if you believe 1/2 of what they say happens here.” She then went on to illustrate how 1 little boy’s mom fell in the kitchen while climbing up to get a bottle of juice from the cabinet. His version? “Mommy fell off the chair while she was drinking last night.”
[…] her child’s scribbles are works of art. The one who’s always shushing her children in restaurants. The one whose house is slowly filling with cheap McDonald’s toys. The one who drives […]