Remember a few weeks ago I was freaking out because Husband was trying to plan a family vacation? Yeah. On an RV. Destination unconfirmed. Mosquito bites, skeevy campgrounds, whining children and gas-guzzling? Confirmed.
Oh. effing. no.
Then, I read about houseboats for rent. In Boston harbor. A perfect combination of white trash adventure and first class views. Cheaper than a hotel for our family of four, we could do Boston like tourists (Duck Boats even!) and treat ourselves and our kids to a little adventure. I sold Husband on it.
We went last weekend.
How’d it go? Mostly, it was better than expected. But…not entirely.
Reasons why you SHOULD rent a houseboat.
#1. Financially, it really makes sense for a family with kids when stacked against the cost of a hotel. We slept four of us on the boat on the first night and six (not comfortably) on the second night. When Husband and I travel with the kids, we either have to get a suite (ridonkulous) or two adjoining rooms and the moron on the reservations line will never guarantee your rooms will actually adjoin. “Oh, sure. I’ll just show up and take my chances that my kids are placed somewhere near me. Ever heard of Madeleine McCann, lady?!” Ummm…no, thank you.
And so, if we’re all in one room it means that when it’s lights out for the two-year old, it’s lights out for everyone. And I, for one, do not want to spend $200+ to sit in the dark at 7:30 pm. No lights make it extremely difficult to properly pour my Chardonnay.
#2. It’s not an RV.
#3. BYOB and F. It’s awesome to be able to bring your own supplies, stock the fridge and be done with the cost and planning of meals. We had chicken and corn fired up on the gas grill the first night, pancakes for breakfast, went out to lunch then had ribs and pasta salad the second night. Yum, yum and yummmmm.
#4. Did I mention? It’s not an RV.
#5. Many comforts of home. The boat was fully stocked with all the necessary kitchen items, a cooktop stove, a microwave, a flat screen TV with DVD player, WiFi, sheets, towels, aforementioned gas grill, AC, a toilet (more on that later), a shower (and that) and security (locks going into marina, locks on boat). There was no point in which we said “I really wish this place had an …”, which is amazing. Know how many of the above items we would have had on an RV? Me either but probably not many.
#6. Very close to home. The very worst part of any vacation, to me, is the travel to and from. What a freakin’ hassle. (Talk to me later about our upcoming drive to the Outer Banks, which I am not looking forward to.) We left our hometown for the boat at about 4 pm and were “on vacation” at 4:45. We left the boat at 8 am on Sunday, settled in at home and were on our own beach at 10 am.
So, that’s all good. A decent review, no?
Welllllllll….there were a few GLITCHES. ‘Course.
#1. Houseboats rock. Like, a lot. We were amazed at how it felt at times (mostly at night) like we were on the Time Bandit crossing the Bering Sea in 45-ft swells. And, we were docked the whole time. In a pretty quiet boatyard. Weird. I’m serious that it took me two days to stop feeling at least a little nauseous. I’ve never been on a cruise but I imagine this is common for cruisers. But for a houseboat? That doesn’t go anywhere? Hmm.
#2. Newly potty trained two-year olds in small quarters? A little dicey.
#3. Ok, while on the charming subject of the potty. (Sorry, but it has to be said.) Somewhere around 18 hours in we started smelling something a little…odd. Turns out, that smell? Raw sewage. Awesome. We didn’t figure out that was the smell until we were joined by Passenger Five and Passenger Six who, obviously, added to the no-so-large holding tank under the boat. No idea how often the sewage gets pumped but by 11 pm on Saturday evening, that small toilet let out a giant groan and quit on us. Brother-in-law was its hapless victim and, after fighting a noble battle with towels and a scrub brush, waved the white flag and retreated to his bed. The stench? Holy lord. And the situation was not helped by the fact that all the windows were closed tight as the AC circulated the stank like a floating poop tornado.
So, when you read that the boat sleeps six, I suggest you keep in mind that it actually sleeps four functional digestive systems and two severely constipated ones.
#4. Mother nature can be a real precocious beeyatch. It basically hasn’t rained all summer. And, so, naturally, we arrived in a torrential rainstorm. Lucky for us, it cleared later in the evening and we had a pretty good 36 hours or so afterwards. But, be warned. You will probably not enjoy your houseboat very much (despite the amenities) if you can’t sit on the decks, grill your steaks and enjoy the view. It’s a crapshoot, of course. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Casa Cassiopeia
Kinda cute, isn’t she?
So, would we do it again? I think so. Under the right circumstances. It’s definitely a good alternative to a hotel for a weekend in Boston (or one of Sleep Afloat’s other cities).
And, hey. It sure beat the hell out of my image of the alternative vacation.
Like it? Please share it. Sharing is caring.
OK, this is the funniest (for me, obviously not for those that were there) sentence I have read in a long time!!!
“as the AC circulated the stank like a floating poop tornado”
Now go watch the movie RV and see how amusing your RV trip will be next summer. 🙂
I’ve finally finished picking myself up from the floor laughing enough to shout…
BACK THE BOAT UP?!?!?! YOU’RE DRIVING TO THE OUTER BANKS?!?!? THAT MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO PASS RIGHT BY MY HOUSE!!!!! WE HAVE TO MEET, SISTER!!!!
I use the word “driving” very loosely. Should probably be saying that we’re being “death marched”. Husband has lost his ever-loving mind about this drive. He wants to leave at 3:30 am from CT. He has mapped out various stops along the way and allotted us 2.7 minutes for peeing, 5.3 minutes for #2 and 32.6 minutes for meals.
It. will. be. torturous.
We flew last year. Apparently, I didn’t put out enough in 2009 / 2010 or why else would he punish me so?
How far are you from Kitty Hawk? We’ll be in Corolla but I’d drive to you if it isn’t crazy far.
HAHAHAH. I can feel your pain. Just spent the weekend in our 5th wheel… there were 4 original campers then 2 guests…UGH for the smell, but the vent and Oust worked miracles. Your eyes only watered when you were physically in the tiny closet with the toilet. THANK GOD the shower and sinks are out in the open.