It was Husband’s birthday last week. He turned 35. Which is crazy because when we got married he was five years younger than me and I’m only turning 29 this year.
(Incidentally, I’m pretty sure the proper grammar there is “younger than I” but that just sounds plain weird so I’m not typing that.)
Anyway.
My husband is to jackets what Imelda is to shoes. I swear, we have closets upon closets of men’s jacket. I’d take a picture but that’s just handing over evidence for when you decide to get all judgey on me and call Hoarders.
But, here’s the thing. He doesn’t actually like any of them. They’re all either too short, or too tight, too hot or too bulky. They have a logo he hates or a (nearly invisible) stain on the chest. They collect too much dog hair or they aren’t the right color to wear with his suit pants. I could go on.
Sometime early this winter, he decided a North Face fleece was going to be the answer to our jacket woes. A black one. Zip front. Gotcha.
We talked about it.
And talked about it.
Christmas came.
I forgot all about the damn jacket which is absurd because seriously we bemoan the lack of a jacket frequently.
Sh*t.
His birthday last week. Almost spring. Not a single black fleece North Face to be found in the greater Boston area.
‘Course.
So, I went to a local uppity retailer and looked around and found what I thought would be a really good alternative. A grey (black wasn’t in stock but could be ordered), little bit puffy Patagonia. Light-weight but warm.
$179.
I know, I know. That’s a lot for a jacket. I think I was trying to compensate for the fact that I forgot all about it in December. But, I truly believed this was finally going to be the jacket.
Do you think it was the jacket?
‘Course not.
He didn’t like it.
And he really didn’t like the price.
I went on an on about how he deserved that price. That he clearly needed a jacket he would love. That he was so good about my gifts that he should have a nice thing, too. That he earned that gift with all his hard work and support of his loving family.
(Plus, I’m really pushing for a 40th 29th birthday party this summer.)
He looked at me and with a straight face said…
“Ok. If you want to spend $179 on me, return the jacket, go to Victoria’s Secret and spend $179 on some nice stuff for you.”
Hahahahahaha! I laughed. Funny guy, that husband of mine.
“I’m serious.”
“No way. You are so not serious.”
“Yes, I am. Go spend it on yourself. But spend it there.”
A few days passed.
“Did you go shopping yet?”
“You’ve lost your mind. You do not want me to go do that.”
But, I think he’s completely serious.
Men are weird, man.
Does Vicky sell a Snuggie?
Confessions of a Serial Swooper 
2 comments: 1) If you get him VS for his birthday, maybe there is a chance you won’t get it for yours? 2) I’m really sorry if the wing sauce over shadowed your nice and thoughtful gift 🙂 And yes, I think he is 100% serious.
Wow — do you EVER know us well. The wing sauce gift kicked a**. Easily his favorite gift (which says a lot about our husbands).
Hysterical!!!!
What is it about men and Victoria Secrets? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Personally, I would have gone for the Northface.
Oh and I so want to come to your 40th birthday. I will even throw you a party so we can hang together in real life. 🙂
He is a fickle one, huh? Hard to shop for. My guy is really picky about colors. Men are weird.
Men — we’re that way.
…and we love you despite yourselves.
um…that’s what we have ONLINE stores for, my dear. I can’t believe you didn’t just order him the NF. You are brave to try to pass a substitute off after all he’s been through in his quest for the perfect jacket. 😉
And…I SOOOO get his response. I took my car in for a quick oil change and had to get new brakes. BSD didn’t know i was getting the oil change. I texted him from the garage, “I just spent $700.” He texts back, “on lingerie?” Me: “would you be ok with that?” BSD: “totally”
I would never blow that kind of $$ at VS. I buy my smutwear at TJMaxx. That way we’re both happy campers. 🙂 Buy the North Face, then go over to TJMaxx, get a little something-something, then give him BOTH gifts! You can bet you’ll get something fantabulous in return. 😉
– yeah, online stores are great EXCEPT when you’re out shopping ON his birthday.
DO IT.
You know how we think men don’t listen? Husband’s giving you a ROAD MAP! Follow it!
I know, it’s stupid, but it’s their kind of stupid, so it’s not. and let him be the judge of how dumb/stupid you look in Vicky’s clothes.
Just an old girl telling it like it seems to be…
You realize you could buy $179 worth of flannel pajamas at VS?
I call that sweet revenge…
And on a somewhat unrelated topic: What is the DEAL with the entire family going with the mom to VS? I don’t like my kids to be there when I’m picking out sexy underwear…Or flannel pajamas. Whatever strikes my fancy that day.
[…] A couple entries ago I mentioned how my husband was encouraging me to get some Victoria’s Secret lingerie for his birthday. […]