Confessions of a Serial Swooper

Maybe it’s the pre-holiday madness.  Maybe it’s the fact that winter, my very least favorite time of year, is looming.  I don’t know.  Whatever the reason, I’m a little cranky lately.  And there are a number of things that are

totally

ticking

me

off.

1.  Idiots Complaining About TSA Pat-Downs.

Really?  Keep in mind that these people are only faced with said pat-down because they have chosen not to go through the new full-body security scanner.   Come on, crazies.  Get with the program.  If you elect not to go through the scanner than you should be subjected to whatever is required so that security is 100% sure you aren’t taking down a plane.   TSA agents aren’t looking to get off on feeling your inner thigh.  They’re looking to save your life.  So, if you want to complain about pat-down techniques then you may not complain when the woman in line behind you tapes explosives under her breasts and strolls onto your plane because the agent didn’t want to embarrass her with a hand-swipe under her boobs.

Or, maybe we can talk the airlines into flying one security-free flight a day.  No check-points, no scanners, no pat-downs.  And then all you nut-jobs who bitch about security can feel free just to climb right on board.

You have a nice flight.  Hope you make it.

_____

2.  Haiti

Yup.  I know.  Probably ruffling a few feathers with this one.  But, let’s look at what’s been happening in Haiti.  So, there was an earthquake.  A horrible, horrible earthquake that devastated and already terribly depressed, poor nation.  A nightmare, no doubt.  And I, for one, was busy texting “Yele Haiti” with Wyclef Jean and praying for the helpless victims of nature’s wrath.  I know that, as a country, the United States (and many others) raised a lot of money to help Haiti start to rebuild.  I’m sure it wasn’t anywhere near what that country really needed (and continue to need).  But, I’m also proud of the fact that the United States was a leader in helping a virtually helpless nation.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when there was threat of Hurricane Tomas heading towards Haiti.  More than a million Haitians were living in tent cities at the base of a mountain in Port-au-Prince.  Had the hurricane continued on its forecasted path, mudslides would surely have resulted in thousands of deaths.  So, in goes the American Red Cross and the United Nations to help evacuate people to safe shelters — offering refuge from a very dangerous situation.  But, fearing looting of their minimal possessions and refusing to be “displaced” from the tents they now called home, most citizens refused to leave.  When pressed by the UN or the Red Cross, violence erupted.  In the end, mere hundreds actually left their tents and sought shelter elsewhere.  Thankfully, the hurricane spared Haiti the worst of its force.

But, what would have happened if it didn’t?  Would we feel responsible for helping again?

Cholera grips the nation of Haiti today.  But, sadly, representatives from the UN and from Oxfam can’t  get into the country in recent days because of dangerous rioting, fires and threats of violence.  Many Haitians firmly believe it was the United Nations who brought the disease to the island and they resent the outside presence.  The UN, consequently, was forced to cancel flights carrying tons of desperately needed soap and medical supplies because they are unable to land safely.  Oxfam suspended water chlorination projects and the W.H.O. had to cease on-the-ground training of medical staff.  The UN World Food Program warehouse was burned down and looted.

So, when cholera devastates a country whose people won’t allow us to provide soap, clean water and trained doctors, must we all get back to work sending money for their aid?  Will George Clooney hop back on live tv for an hour-long telethon with images of death, destruction and helplessness?

Can a nation still be called “helpless” when help has been offered and rebuked?

Is it still our duty?

_____

3. On a lighter note.

Mark Sanchez, Rex Ryan and the stupid New York Jets.

Stop making me think you’re going to lose and then pull out another win.  It’s annoying.  Quit it.

_____

4.  Skating with the Stars?

Really?   The good news is, if Bethenny Frankel is their A-List celebrity, there’s no way we’ll have to suffer through a Season Two.

_____

But On the Up Side.

On the up side, my dearest friend from childhood is coming to visit me tomorrow with her wonderful husband and beautiful new baby.  I can’t wait to see them all.   She lives a million miles away in Montana and it seems like we don’t connect nearly often enough.  But, she is (and always has been) that kind of a friend where, when we’re together, it feels like no time has passed at all.  She can make me laugh like no other but she’d offer a shoulder to cry on as quickly as a she’d offer a smile.

So, give me a friend like that, and I’ll gladly suffer the TSA fools, political frustrations and Bethenny Frankel on Ice.

But, do I still have to watch the stupid Jets?