My friend DZB emailed this to me yesterday. It’s an email I sent to her (and maybe to a few other friends) during the summer of 2006, while Husband, Big Brother and I were living and working in Vermont. I was years away from starting my blog but, as she pointed out in her email, I was clearly looking to writing as an outlet for a rant or two.
So, even though I really want to go in and edit it a bit for better story-telling, I’ll leave it as it was sent that day.
I loved that job. But, as with any job centered around customer service, it could be maddening at times. ‘Cause let’s face it. The general public kinda sucks.
You agree.
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Monday, July 31, 2006
Inn-keeping with Stereo-types
I manage an Inn. In Vermont. We have a handyman, named Daryl. Yes, Daryl-like-from-Newhart-Daryl. It’s that kind of place. Anyway…
Caller: I’d like to have dinner tonight at 7:00 in the tavern.
Me: I’m sorry, I only have a table at 6:15 or 8:30.
Caller: Oh. How about 7:30?
Me: (biting tongue) No, I’m sorry. 6:15 or 8:30.
Caller: Oh. Well, we’re going to the 9:00 movie so we really need to eat between 7 and 8.
Me: (silence)
Caller: HELLO?!! Are you there? Hello?! HELLO?!?!
Me: Yup, still here. Still 6:15 or 8:30.
Caller: (Sighs audibly. Hangs up)
Charming. I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
But then, I lean over and pat the sweetly snoring black Labrador lying on the floor beneath my chair.
A week ago:
“Regular guest” arrives and goes straight to “her” room (#12). Said guest never checks in at the front desk. Simply “arrives” and deposits herself in said room, picking up her key at the desk when cocktail time rolls around. We are then to prepare glass of house Cabernet (actually , NOT our house Cabernet anymore but we all know it’s the one She wants.) Anyway, this time, She is at the desk minutes after Cadillac parks in rear lot.
She: WHAT HAPPENED IN MY ROOM?!?!
Me: Thinking ‘Oh no, dog threw up’, ‘Interns clogged toilet’, ‘AC frosted over’, oh god, oh god
Me: What is it?
She: It’s HORRIBLE!
Me: What is it?
She: The bedspread is red! (It used to be blue. We’ve had a decorator in recently.) The curtains are a horror show! Get them back!
Me: Ummm…
She: NOW! I want them back! Get them back!
Me: Well, let me look into this. I know we did some redecorating but I don’t believe we made any changes to Room 12 and…
She: Get them back! Get them back!
Me: I’ll see what I can do.
And, I do. I JUMP on the phone, call the decorator who lives down the street and actually RUSHES over with SIX old bedspreads and her album of each room befores and afters. Locate correct blue bedspread. Run upstairs while She has so-called “house” Cabernet. Quickly switch bedspread. Pull down new curtains. Replace with white. Rush back downstairs. Sweating…
Me: The room is back as it used to be, Mrs. X
She: Well, thank goodness.
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Confessions of a Serial Swooper 
You really had a Daryl? Is that like a thing in Vermont?
Love the stories.
We did, we did! Really. It was about as Newhart as you can get.
And a little “Hotel New Hampshire”, too, complete with farting Inn dogs.
Honestly, reading this just makes me wish I was in that inn right now all alone. I think I need some alone time.
Oh God, I can’t believe you changed the drapes and bedspread for her. Was she the Queen of England? Some people think that the world is here to accommodate them. Very annoying. I see a lot of that in wedding photography too.
This is Daryl and this is my other brother Daryl…..
Totally loved that show.