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Posts Tagged ‘Little Brother’

I Scream. You Scream?

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on November 20, 2009| 2 Comments »


So, it’s become clear to me that yes, I am, in fact, a screamer. I’ve become one of those Moms that I never really thought I’d be or at least I hoped I wouldn’t be. But, nonetheless, the fact is that, when push comes to shove and the rubber hits the road and all hell is breaking loose (look at that, three coloquialisms in a row) I am…in fact…a screamer.

And, apparently you know you have entered the inner sanctum of my life when I allow you to witness the full mental breakdown that leads to the event of my banshee-esque screaming. Today, for example…
My beloved almost-five-year old (he long ago stopped calling himself four) had been out of the house almost literally all day long. School, extended for lunch and play with a new “girlfriend” (she’s from Norway and Big Brother apparently takes after his father), no afternoon nap, home for about 20 minutes then off to a swimming playdate at the Y and dinner with his best friend, C. And C’s nanny who is a-w-e-s-o-m-e. I adore her. And I have total envy of my new and wonderful friend M., who employs said Nanny’s services and, therefore, exposes her children to DELIGHTFUL play on a regular basis. (As an example, Big Brother made a pickle pizza last time he was at C’s house. How cool is that?)
Anyway, Nanny is kind enough to allow the ours to be family #2 and she helps us out as much as she can. We do regular play-dates at the park. My boys love her and can’t wait for the next time we go out but they hope we DONT go out with C’s Mommy and Daddy because that means they can’t have Nanny all to themselves.
Now, fast forward to 6:45 this evening when Big Brother arrives home. I haven’t seen the kid in what seems like weeks and, as I rush to the door to greet him with visions of hugs and kisses, I realize quickly that he could, clearly, care less. Instead, he saunters past me on his way to, no doubt, ensure that his pesky little brother hasn’t had any fun while he was gone and to make DAMN sure that said fun stops…now. Up the stairs goes Big Brother. I greet Nanny who wants to discuss (god bless her) when she can take him off my hands YET AGAIN for a sleepover with C.
30 seconds go by. Max. Little Brother wails loudly from upstairs.
Me (medium voice): Hey guys? Play nice, ok?
Conversation continues with Nanny.
10 seconds later.
Big Brother: NO, Little Brother, that’s my Bakugan!
Little Brother wails yet again. I picture the hands on the shoulders shake Big is undoubtedly giving Little.
F-ing Bakugans.
Me: Big Brother! Stop!

Smile at Nanny. “Sorry.” She understands, of course.

12 seconds? Maybe?

More cries. Louder now. Conversation with Nanny is drawing to a close. But not before she hears the quiet fraying sound of…what was that? Oh yes, my last nerve.
Me: Big Brother, I swear if you don’t keep your hands to yourself this second I’m going to come up there and you. will. be. SORRY!

Nanny: Ok, well let’s chat tomorrow.

Sometimes I wonder what differentiates the good Moms from the bad. I sure as hell hope it isn’t volume.

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So Sue Me…

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , on November 5, 2009| Leave a Comment »

So, I’ve recently learned that some nincompoop parents decided to sue the Baby Einstein company because they were angry that the videos did not, in fact, make their children smarter. And these idiots won. And now we lucky parents can walk right back into our local Walmart and return these “worthless” videos for a full refund. Are you kidding me?!

I get it that, yes, the company certainly should not make such claims if they are not going to be true in all cases. The parents who decide to drop their child down in front of Baby Einstein so that they can sneak a cigarette on the back porch, share a few extra vodkas with their spouse or catch the tail end of Judge Judy will be sadly disappointed when little Charlie doesn’t finish up his forty-two minutes with Baby Monet and head out to paint the next “Water Lillies.” So, I’ll give you that the company’s claims were baseless and that perhaps there are, sadly, thousands of parents out there foolish enough to really believe that they could cross “educate” off their childcare to-do list for the day with a video. The company should never have said such things as the videos alone clearly can not teach. And, I suppose, that makes it worthy of a lawsuit.
Sigh.
But those parents who actually remain in the same room with their child while they watch and actually talk about it now and then? I believe that those parents, more likely than not, do see that these videos can expand little minds even if just a bit. I absolutely love it that when my 2-year old hears classical music he smiles and says “Einstein!” So, he doesn’t recognize that it’s Bach versus Beethoven, he loves it. It makes him smile.

Big Brother picked up some sign language from Marlee Matalin on Baby Wordsworth. He gave me some giant belly laughs when we’d do “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” to Baby Da Vinci. I also got some of my best educational (yes, educational) toy ideas from these videos. Toys that were Will’s that have become Little Brother’s that they regularly play and enjoy together.
So, I’m pissed me off. It makes me crazy that Julie Clark now has to give back any portion of her multi-millions to these lazy-ass, lawsuit-toting morons who go after a company like Baby Einstein and call themselves good parents for doing so.
And, frankly, I hope Julie is sitting back in the palatial mansion she likely bought a few years ago (when a little, know-nothing company named Disney bought the majority stake in Baby Einstein) and laughing it all off.
Have a drink on me, Julie. I’m keeping my videos.

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Why Didn’t I Think of That?

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , on September 27, 2009| Leave a Comment »

Much to my dismay, Big Brother is determined to wear a nylon/poly-blend Spiderman costume for Halloween this year. Which bums me out because I’ve managed to get him into some pretty adorable Winnie the Pooh and Clifford full-fluffy, high-quality costumes in the past.

= cute

= not cute

My snob-meter is just off the charts on this one.
So, now I felt extra pressure for Little Brother’s costume and refused to spend any additional money on cheap-o ugly polyester Target costumes. I’ve been asking around for ideas and can’t believe it took me as long as it did to find someone to suggest that Little Brother be a spider to Big Brother’s Spiderman. Of course!
Found this.

Thank you, D.C., for saving my Halloween.

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Neither Here nor There…

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2009| 1 Comment »

I’ve spent the last four and a half years on a whirlwind tour of New England residency. Left Marblehead (and a full time job as an event planner at a big corporation) in July of 2005 for Vermont. “Threw it all away” with my husband and new baby in favor of “the country life.” And we did it to the letter — I even managed a small inn that was the epicenter of the quintessential New England town where I grew up. Across from the general store, down the Village Green from the post office. My husband left a successful Cleaning Services sales job in favor of insurance sales for a small agency owned by a close family friend. We loved it. Our son (then 6 months old) thrived. He spent two days a week at daycare, two days a week with my mother and since I worked Tues – Saturday he spent one day just with Mom, one day just with Dad and Sundays were VT-freakin’ perfect. Wide open spaces, pig roasts, a commute past more cows than cars. We loved it there. We also struggled to make ends meet although we both held “real jobs” full-time. We struggled to find our place between the extreme haves (multi-millionaire 2nd home trust fund beneficiaries) and the extreme have-nots who, really, are what I believe make Vermont such a fabulously special little state.

After two years of making mortgage payments but neglecting any savings whatsoever and, therefore, NOT having the second child we both wanted….we bailed.  Husband got a flattering job offer in Manhattan — back in Cleaning Services sales where he would undoubtedly flourish. And flourish enough that I could be a stay at home Mom and we could have that baby. We moved to Connecticut. You know the rest. Had the second baby and all was good. However, the CT to Times Square commute was somewhat rough but he did it chin up. Pregnant when we arrived and then a shut in with a late October baby for 6 months after that, I struggled to make friends. Finally signed up to be a room parent at my older son’s pre-school and slowly (like about 18 months slowly) began to find my place. A few new girlfriends that could make me laugh (still not like my best girlfriends but I took it happily), all was ok. Sunny days.
And then…the offer. Open an office in Boston. We believe in you. Go. Was I up for it, he said? Move again? Third time in four years? Can we do it? “If you can land me right back in Marblehead. Marblehead – home to two of my bridesmaids. Home to three of the only six women I turned to when my Dad had a heart attack, when my Mom had a brain aneurysm, when I thought my unborn Little Brother had Down’s. If you can land me back with THOSE women..hell, yes. Move me again. I can do it.”

And, I’m so glad we did. Let me preface my upcoming b*tchfest with how I know it was the right move. I live in a beautiful town, with built-in friends and I am meeting more wonderful, smart, funny women each day. They (usually) have interesting husbands, happy sweet kids and I know that my life is enviable.
But, I admit, lately I wish he was home more. Working his tail off, some late nights, Blackberry buzzing when he’s home. Out the door at 5:15 am, sometimes home after Little Brother goes to bed. And, now, because he’s announced he needs to go in on Saturday all day and maybe some of Sunday (and he does need to, no doubt), I reply by saying that I will, therefore, try to go home to my parents in Vermont for the weekend. He’s hurt. “But, I’ll be around some of the time. And, I haven’t seen you and the guys all week. What about Saturday from, like, 3 pm on? And probably most of the day Sunday? You won’t really go, will you?”
But, I will. And, as I tell him, not to be spiteful or mean or insensitive to the fact that he’s working like a dog. But, because I simply can’t face another full day of single parenting (because let’s face it 5 am – 3 pm is a full day) and then a second day during which we rush around trying to do a errands and then the Giants are on (stop, world) until 4 pm and then it’s time for kids dinner, baths, bed, our dinner and the weekend is over. Where did this weekend differ from my week? And, it’s been a long Mommy week. So, country roads, take me home. To the place where my Mom and the ultimate “it takes a village” township will wrap my wild boys and me in their arms and ease. the. mommy. monotony.
Wah, wah, wah.
I see the other side. I do. He clearly doesn’t enjoy having to work, being away from us, bearing all the pressure as the sole bread winner. He truly likes his job but it’s a lot at the moment. And now his family, who he does it all for, is ditching him for the weekend. Sucky at best.
I’m an only child and, apparently, not very good at sharing my husband. Even if it’s sharing him with his employer – the employer who ultimately brought me back to this town, keeps my kids in their Crocs and who is the first in a long time that I think really gets that he’s good. Very good.
I’m proud of him. We’re all proud of him. But, this weekend I’m pretty sure we’ll all be proud of him from roughly 180 miles north west.

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